my half sister's disability from the abuse: jennifer was 2 or 3 when she was "given" to my aunt that had AIDS. my aunt beat her too. i remember my aunt telling me to hit her whenever i felt like it. we are 6 years apart. only saw her a hand few of times. she never completed a grade passed fifth. after being abused by my mother and molested by my uncle and beat again by my aunt, she ran. she met a man who she later found out to be the killer of his ex girlfriend and became pregnant. she was 16 years old and i remember watching a video my father's mother recorded of her not showing her face. they were fleeing from the law. she told me she loved me in the video. i was ten. didnt understand. i saw her six years later and she had her son from the man, another boy and a girl. the boy died in his sleep and my mother claims my sister killed her own son. i was 14 about to be 15 when i saw her at 22 years old. she had all her teeth and hair and could smile. she didnt have epilepsy. she didnt have to take shots of haldol or think the fbi was chasing her in the apartment to cut her hair off and burn the apartment down.
i still have the picture of what i want to remember. she is holding her oldest son.
where is her oldest son now? with the state of Texas. the daughter is with her ex husband and she has a daughter that iis 4 with downs syndrome.
history repeats itself and so does rape, molestation, abuse, suicide and the large governmental groups that are suppose to help stop the cycle.
i am tired of not being heard and i am not ashamed to post my misery on here to find out how to make this stop. and i want to be a teacher coming from this situation. i should have known better. maybe education helped me until i was 26 and then failed me when i understood there is no "you can do it, so can I". only in movies.
my grandmother stays by her side. why?
i thought i could so get my family well by telling the head nurse my grandmother told me on the phonecall i received from work, she had taken narcotics before her surgery. i knew something was wrong necause before i said the prayer over her she seemed gone. during the surgery her heart stopped, but only few a few seconds. only? really?
i tell the staff of nurses and her doctor about the pill bottle right on top of her purse but they cannot do anything because its in her possession???? she has three bottles of stimulants, diazepam, lactimal, hydrocodone visible in her purse and they cant do anything. but they sure tell me i better call adult protective services. and i do. two months of waiting for me to be told nothing can be said to me except people are in and out of the house. what does that mean? her nurses are in and out. hippa laws protect my mothers drug habit. it still does. shes insured but i have been to the doctor a total of five times one included her breaking my arm. i need to know i am not in a freakshow.
105 visits
sexual abuse
I am a single mother to two lovely girls ages 2 and 4. I am also a college student and full time employee. My life is busy, I am proud and believe in hard work. I do my best all the time to support my girls. Lately I hav been discouraged and find it hard to keep up he fight. I am physically tired. In the morning I have to get up, get me and the kids ready, get them to school with all supplues and their lunch. Then be at work on time. I have two supervisprs and work in a busy mental health rehabilitation center. All day I am stressed. When I get off work I have to get the girls and as much as I want to spend time with them lately I feel tired and want to sleep. But I have to make dinner, do dishes, pay the bills, do the laundry, supervise play, read books, mop, sweep, take out tash, scrub the toilet and shower, provide every basic necessity. Then I have to fight to get them to sleep sometimes, and as much as I would love to lay down and sleep with them by my side I have to do homework. Lately I have been staying up until three and getting up to do it all again at 5. It never ends. Not to mention my mother is diagnosed with a mental disease. My aunt passed leaving me the responsible adult for her three daughters. My brother (my best friend) is leaving for Navy training next month. My ex got fired so child support stopped. My bills are past due. My debt is so bad that they might start taking from my checks. I am in therapy for being sexually abused as a child. I have practically no relationship with my father. I want to scream. I like to think that I am strong as an ox and that I have what it takes to survive and will make the best of what life has given me. But this week I found out that I have gallbladder disease. It is causing great pain. I have a $1,097 share of cost for my medical insurance and there is no way I can pay it. I am afreaid that my condition will worsen and I cant afford to be sick, I worry about who will take care of my children if something happens to me. Im so overwhelmed that I am unable to focus my thoughts. I am desparately fighting to hold myself together. I don't feel hopeless but right now I have nothing offering any hope in my life. I know the Lord is good and things could be worse, but this is so hard.
Namaste,
I can help you to find a new perspective on your situation so that, though you may still need to go through it, you will not suffer through it. Often, all we need is a new understanding and that helps us to get unstuck and respond to "What IS" actually going on instead of filtering What IS through past conditioning. HINT: If you are angry, can you see clearly what is actually happening, or do you look for things within what is going on to justify your anger? So, logically, if you can let go of your anger, then you will be in a better position to respond appropriately. I can help you to let go of any obstacles to clear understanding.
I am one to call on if you are open to learning a more effective and happier way to live. If you only wish to rehash old hurts or just talk to someone who will pity you or enable you to continue to stay in the same emotional place, then I am NOT to one to call. I believe you have the power to live your own life effectively, and your present circumstances are just the springboard you need to discover this for yourself. You are responsible for your life, and the only reason one suffers is not yet having figured out how to take hold of that power. If you are willing, then I can help you to find and make use of the power within you to live the happy, joyful and loving life that you can be living.
I have experience with child abuse, sexual abuse, runaways, spousal abuse, alcoholism, excessive anger, suicidal thinking, marital problems, Spiritual confusion, sexual addiction, non-medical depression and many other situations that trigger pain within us. I can say, from my own experience and from the knowledge I have accumulated, all this and more can be overcome, if you are willing to think in a new way...and if you are willing, then I can give you the steps to get you there. You, however, have to do all the work. (Sorry, but that is the way it is. "I can see you scratch, but I cannot feel your itch.")
PTSD, Rape, and Sexual Abuse
Reposted with permissions. (Thanks Joanne)
Post traumatic stress disorder is not just something that war veterans get.
Learn about the symptoms and treatments for PTSD, and how it can affect all areas of the sufferer's life.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Rape, and Sexual Abuse
The estimated risk for rape survivors developing post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is 49%. The risk for those beaten or experiencing physical assault is 31.9%, whilst the risk for others who experienced sexual assault is 23.7%. Given these figures, it is no wonder women are more likely to develop PTSD than men, as they are statistically significantly more likely to experience sexual assault.
Post traumatic stress disorder is characterized by intense fear, a sense of helplessness, or horror. It can affect all areas of a person's life, their emotions, mental wellbeing, and physical health. And symptoms are generally worse in situations, like rape and abuse, where the trauma was deliberately initiated against those involved.A person with post traumatic stress disorder may re-live the traumatic events, having flashbacks or other reminders and images that intrude on their waking hours, or in dreams and nightmares. These reminders may also trigger physical symptoms, such as heart palpitations or chills. Or emotional problems, like anxiety, depression, and dread.
People with post traumatic stress disorder may avoid any reminders of the trauma, whether that is people associated with the experience, or places, or even thoughts of the trauma. They can distance themselves from family and friends, and withdraw from everyday activities and things they used to enjoy.Relationship problems are common for survivors of rape and sexual abuse. Some survivors avoid intimacy, others avoid sex, and some avoid both, and create patterns in their lives where those coping mechanisms are maintained. But sufferers of PTSD who did not experience any sexual abuse can also have problems in their relationships, or in social situations.
Another characteristic of post traumatic stress disorder is being on guard all the time, and suddenly feeling anger or irritability. There can be problems with sleeping and concentrating, and sufferers may be startled easily. Self destructive behaviours, such as gambling, risky sex, drug use, alcohol abuse, or other problems like dangerous driving, may be present. Depression, disassociation, or other mental health problems can develop.Not all of these characteristics may be present in PTSD, and the degree to which one experiences them may vary also. And PTSD may not develop until months or years after the trauma. Particularly in relation to abuse in childhood, symptoms of PTSD can pass, then reappear later in life. This can make it difficult to recognize when PTSD is occurring, as survivors may not associate their current feeling and behaviours with past events.
Each time symptoms appear, however, they provide an opportunity for healing. Post traumatic stress disorder can be treated, using a combination of medication and psychotherapy.Whilst medications were not thought to help in the treatment of PTSD in the past, they have been found to be beneficial now, probably due to newer ones being available. The SSRI's (selective serotonin uptake inhibitors) zoloft and paxil are both approved by the FDA for treating PTSD. And newer antidepressants like effexor and serzone are also beneficial, and tend to be used when the patient does not tolerate paxil and zoloft, or those medications aren't effective.There are 3 types of psychotherapy that can be used to treat PTSD. These are exposure management, cognitive therapy, and anxiety management. A combination of all 3 may be used, or one individually.
Each person is different in what they will respond to.In exposure therapy, patients confront, in a safe therapeutic environment, the situations, people, and memories associated with the trauma. People with PTSD usually avoid this very thing, but by working through the trauma in this way, exposure therapy is actually very effective at healing PTSD.Cognitive therapy helps in the process of understanding how our thoughts affect our feelings, and provides ways of shifting negative thinking.
Negative thinking can perpetuate a mental prison where joy and interconnectedness is no longer felt. Changing those dynamics can provide a new framework with which to process the trauma, and allow healing to occur.In anxiety management, skills are learnt that help one cope better with the symptoms and triggers of post traumatic stress disorder. They can help reduce the intensity of the symptoms, though they need to be practised to be effective. Anxiety management techniques can be very helpful in controlling anxiety whilst doing exposure therapy. Some techniques used include relaxation, breathing techniques, assertiveness training, and positive thinking and self talk.
References:1. ptsdalliance.org/about_what.html2. ptsd.factsforhealth.org/whatmeds.html3. nimh.nih.gov/publicat/anxiety.cfm
Article Health and FitnessRebecca Prescott runs the article directory By Rebecca Prescott
Published: 6/23/2006 ..
With two children who are survivors of child abuse I think it is time we all stand up for the children and to put a stop to abuse against our children. The abusers get off lightly in my opinion... The abuser leaves scars that never heal and it takes years for most children to begin a normal life. Im proud to say my children have took their power back and no longer live in fear of the man who gave them life, but robbed them of their entire childhood.. Will you stand up for our kids?
